Tom & Alissa

I’m losing interest in the internet.

For most people, shifts in their internet interest happen in tandem with shifts in their job, their education, their geographic location, maybe with marriage or a new relationship or a new baby. For me it’s been none of those. In fact, I can’t figure out what it is, exactly. I can pinpoint it to a few things:

• I’ve been completely distressed and disgusted at how un-civil people are on the internet, especially on blogs and their comments, especially now that the election 2008 debacle is in full swing. It seems that those notions of politeness, kindness, and goodwill that our parents taught us fly right out the window when we feel threatened or annoyed. (I’m not talking about debate here; I’m talking about how we treat people with whom we are debating or with whom we disagree.)
• I’ve realized that I get more nasty and cynical the longer I read things on the internet, especially anything where people are nasty or cynical (or just stupid).
• Since starting school and trying to read these meaty essays for class, I’ve realized that I have developed some kind of nasty ADD-like symptoms where I can’t comprehend anything for more than two sentences before my mind starts wandering. It means it takes me hours to read very little when it’s non-fiction, and you know, that can’t be healthy.
• I’ve been thinking a lot about slower, simpler, more intentional life, and my crazed tab-hopping habits seemed pretty antithetical to that.

I’m not leaving the internet. That would be stupid and impossible and Luddite-like, and kind of ridiculous, since I write for a bunch of internet-based publications and work in an IT department by day and I recognize the value of the internet for things like connecting with friends and intelligent discussion and creative inspiration.

What I have been doing, though, is cleaning out my feed-readers and exercising self-control in which sites I frequent. It’s a constant exercise, but it’s starting to help. I don’t feel quite as frenzied or cynical or irritated with everyone, less quick to jump to judgments.

And I’ve found that I can go home and not open my laptop all evening and be perfectly content. I do things like watch movies and cook dinner for my husband and read books and sometimes go hang out with friends. Wow! I have a life. (Surprisingly, my Blackberry’s been a big help in this regard. I don’t feel the need to open my laptop to check my email - which is a much friendlier medium than blog posts - and therefore can just see what I need to see and get on with my life.)

We first got email (Juno, which was email-only) when I was fourteen, and had the internet about two years later, and now that I think about it, it’s been ten years. I’ve never felt a need to disconnect before. But I’m appreciating a slower life. Maybe I’m just growing up?